"Some Days"

Some days are harder than others. Some days,  I wake up and I feel like I cannot take on the day.

I feel like my heart is going to stop. I feel like my body is going to shut down.

Some days, I hate myself.

Some days, I look in the mirror and I hate who looks back at me.

I feel shame. 

I feel anger.

I feel empty.

I feel hurt.

My chest feels full. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest and won't get up.

Some days, I cry so much that my eyes feel like they going to bleed.

Some days, I want to sleep all day and hope to God when I open my eyes again that she will be here.

I miss her smile. Her smell. Her hair. Her laugh. Her voice. I miss her so much that words aren't enough to describe. D'KODA!!!

I remember when I had her at 34 weeks and she was healthy and the right size so I was able to have a little extra time with her. She just knew her Mommy time she got here.

--Everyone keeps saying that it was her time and she is at peace.--

Of course, I want my baby at peace but I would like her to be here also. She was only five years old and she had a whole GREAT life ahead of her; I don't care what anyone says.

Some days; I am lost.

Some days; I want to die.

Some days; I am still in Pod 3.

Some days; I wish we could trade places.

--It hurts like HELL to go on without you.--

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

SOME DAYS..........

BUT.....

EVERYDAY; I MISS YOU 

SO MUCH!!