Update about D'Angelo

 

Hello.

How are you today?

Today is May 31st and it has been officially 20 days since D’Angelo(Jay) has been committed. 

He was supposed to come home today but he attacked another child and ended up putting him in the hospital. He did the same thing last week with another child.

He is in the acute part of the facility and he cannot stay there long term so that’s not an option(the acute section is short term where they regulate his medications and send them home to get outpatient services). 

I agree that he is still a danger to himself and others.

He calls me daily and updates me on what is happening. He has stated that “he didn’t mean to hurt that much.” He doesn’t show remorse for his actions so I believe he needs to stay longer. He also states that he is ready to go and never go back but at this time; I think he likes the attention and the fact that the staff and his peers are afraid of him because he flips out every few minutes.

One of his diagnosis is bipolar but he is also in psychosis so he is capable of anything. He gets the shots to calm down and he will calm down for about ten minutes then he is back being the menace he is.

I am home; calling every single facility and insurance carriers to see about getting him into a long term facility to take him BUT everyone has told me that he is too aggressive for residential services. I hate the idea of being without my son but I don’t have any choice but to wait and see what happens.

Jay decides to act up every single day. He says, “I will be good.” Next minute; he is doing exactly what you told HIM NOT TO DO!

I wish I could say that he doesn’t understand what is going on but that would be a lie. He understands the whole situation and still does whatever he wants. 

He was angry with me the other day because they told him that he was going home and he called to let me know but he attacked someone right after and they had to extend his stay again and he got disrespectful on the phone with me. He wants me to step in and do something(like I always have) but I cannot and will not help him in this. He is doing this to himself. Also, I feel like if he comes home; he will be worse and I will have to commit him all over again. This whole process has been affected in ways that I can’t put into words. I feel like a failure of a parent.

Of course; I want him home so I can see him, feed him, and watch him color and we try to enjoy our summer break but that is not realistic.

He has even stated on calls, “Is everything the same at the house?” “Does my room look the same?”

I told him; “Everything is going to be different when you come home. Everything has changed.” (I am not talking about the literal house).

 DJJ has contacted me and they are waiting patiently for him to return because he is actually in a lot of legal trouble when he returns. I have told him this but he thinks he is untouchable because he’s 10. He told the police that they couldn’t put him in jail because he is a child. He thinks he has figured everything out.

When the number comes up from the hospital now; my stomach does cartwheels and it makes me extremely sick.

(I am literally sick to my stomach because I don’t know what kind of call is coming my way)

We were in a call the other day and the first boy he put in the hospital came into the room and Jay says, “He thinks he is about to beat me up.” I said, “Jay just tell a nurse.” Jay yelled out for a nurse. I could hear the boy growling and getting closer to Jay and an aide came in and had to remove him from the room and the boy started screaming and yelling and trying to fight the aide to get to Jay.

I understand the boy’s anger because Jay knocked out his front teeth so it is valid but Jay is MY son and I don’t want any harm to come to him.

(While I am working on his blog today and he calls me)

1:00 PM- We just finished a call abruptly. His nose started to bleed.

He is angry today because he said that they were being too loud(it is always loud there) so they gave him headphones and he is still irritated. Before he got on the phone; he said that he was banging his head on a metal door because it was too loud. A couple of minutes into the call; I could hear his breathing change and his nose started to bleed. He sounded disoriented and I told him to tell a nurse. He said, “My nose is bleeding.” The nurses yell, “D’Angelo’s nose is bleeding.” Call medical now.” He said, “Love you.” I said, “I love you too.”  

1:23 pm- Called the facility to check on him and they said they cleaned him up and he is doing okay. He is still not listening to them. She asked me does he have nosebleeds at home. I told him that his nose does bleed with certain medications and when he is very upset. We have been dealing with that for years. That is all for now. 

Please send positive vibes and prayers.

I will update you as I get more information.

Thank you for reading.