Current Situation

 

Hello.

He has been placed in the same hospital that he was released from a week ago. The local hospital said that he was good overnight and hopefully; he will be good on the way to the mental facility.

He will arrive in Atlanta in a couple of hours and I will let him get used to his surroundings again then I will call tomorrow. This hospital doesn’t give updates or tell the parents anything that is going on. The only way I got information the last time was from Jay himself. I am really too tired to try to get in touch with anyone in charge because they are very rude, ghetto and unprofessional and I don’t have time for that today.

My heart is so heavy right now…I wish that I didn’t have to leave him and I am scared that he is going to be an issue at the mental hospital again because he kept saying the staff  were saying things like.. “they were tired of him and was ready for him to leave.” He doesn’t like the staff at all.

Anyway; I am emotionally and physically drained. I am in so much pain but my meds are not working so prayer is the only thing that can touch this pain in my body and soul.

I know he NEEDED to go but why couldn’t he let the meds work so we could move forward? Why does he have to live with these mental illnesses? Why does he want to kill me? Did I do something wrong to make him technically lose his mind? How am I supposed to live without my son at home? Will I ever be able to rest again? Will he hate me forever once he finds out he isn’t coming home after this? 

((My heart and soul shattered after losing my daughter and that was very unfair and I thought I couldn’t make it but somehow; I am still here. Will that be the same with him))? Will this feeling in my stomach go away? So many questions and concerns without any answers.😭

Till next time!

Thanks for reading!!