June 18th 2022

...June 18th; these are only pictures of this day. My skin was LITERALLY CRAWLING!!! I FELT VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!!

I felt ANXIOUS. I FELT NUMB. I FELT SICK. I FELT ALONE. I FELT SCARED TO DEATH. I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO FAINT. I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T BREATHE. I FELT HELPLESS. I FELT CONFUSED! I FELT ANGER! I FELT DONE!

They had just performed surgery at her bedside for her chest tubes(as I watched)...I stood at the front of her bed as they cleaned her up and put her on a ventilator. As you can see her heart rate was high but it settled once I was able to go over and touch her and said, "Baby, I'm here".. Whenever I left the room; her vitals would go crazy so I knew she was still in there. This is Pod 3. 

(I took this picture so the family could see what we were dealing with. At this point; the doctor wasn't expecting her to make it through the night so I was talking to her and sat right there. I made them put cream on her because her skin/lips/eyes were really dry. I bought lotion and massaged her legs and arms. Under all of the sheets and her Poppy blanket were tubes and IVs. (It was too much for any parent to go through.) I started to pray to ANYONE who would listen because I couldn't believe this was REALLY happening and I still didn't know what or how this happened.)

Her doctor was very negative and quite frankly, "A BITCH". (I'm sorry but there is no other word for it.)(D'Koda's vitals would drop when she came into her room)(Good thing; she only came around in the mornings.)

This second picture is when I bought a plate of food from the fancy Cafe downstairs but I couldn't eat.

I didn't really sleep this night. I was up more than the nurses and whenever I noticed anything; I would call them. They were very nice and helpful. By the end of the night; her bloodwork was good/normal and she was urinating. Her body was no longer in shock so everything normalized. I thought and felt like everything was going to be okay THIS DAY!

That is all for June 18th, 2022.. . .

....To Be Continued Tomorrow...June 19th, 2022