Yesterday & Today
Yesterday was so busy that by the time; I actually sat down to relax and write; I ended up falling asleep with my laptop in my lap and my glasses still on. 😆 Thank God someone took it off of me, eventually. 🤗
So, Friday was very eventful. We began our day with grocery shopping and deep cleaning. Everyone helped as much as they could and I did the rest. (They act like they are still too tired from school and they've been out for two weeks. Just lazy 😆 🤣)
I did Andri's hair and I tried something new and she loved it.
I went to another grocery store and I let them get their own baskets and allowed them to walk around the store to get what they wanted. I told them to go shop then come find me. Every two to three minutes; they would find me just to check on me and walk away again.
While I was looking for the protein that I was going to cook for dinner; a man came out of nowhere and started yelling out, "Ma'am, why are you in that chair?"
[I was in the store's motorized wheelchair] There were quite a few wheelchairs at the front so I didn't get why he was so loud about it.
I just looked at him and gave a quick smile and went back to looking at the meat. He yells it out again and my children are walking back up to me, at this point. I said, "I have a lot going on! Do you need the chair or something?!" He changes his tone and demeanor. He said, "I just wanted to pray for you." I said, "You could have just led with that." He comes closer and says, "What do you have so I pray for that specifically?" I told him that I have a lot going on medically. I really was just irritated because first of all; he just saw a young woman in a wheelchair and he assumed that I was just riding around "for fun"; I guess then he saw my children and how they were checking on me; it changed. He asked, "Could I pray for you?" I said, "Sure." He starts praying and asks if I know our Savior. I said, "Of course. He is the head of my life, I'm healed and I'm not giving up." I'm about to roll away and he blocks me into the aisle. He says that if you know God then you're healed. That pain will leave your body right now. He tells me to start moving my legs and I'm just looking at him. I'm not paralyzed. I can move my legs but the muscles are weak but I wasn't about to give my entire health history to a stranger. He crosses his arms and keeps praying and saying that God is going to take all of the pain and you're healed so get up and move. He said that you should be able to move now without any pain. I told him repeatedly, "Yes, I am healed and God is working on me and I'm not giving up." I just kept repeating it until he finally stepped out of the way and back to his buggie. The kids were back and wondering what was going on and he turned around and told me to come to his church on Sunday. He said that God isn't through with me. He gave his name and his church and time.
[I do truly appreciate it when people want to pray for me or say something motivational BUT I was in pain WAYYY before I had to get in a wheelchair and no one knew so no one said a thing. [Being in a wheelchair and being on my cane in public makes me so uncomfortable now.]
Just because you can see the disability doesn't mean that you have to acknowledge it. I want to be treated the same way I was treated when I was just another person in the crowd. People just come up EVERY TIME I'M OUT, "How old are you?" "Why are you in that?" "Are you okay?" "Get up!" "You must hurt yourself or something?" I'm not one of those people who just have conversations with anyone so it's a lot of smiling and rolling away. I just don't feel the need to go through all of that. KeKe volunteers to push me around when there are no motorized wheelchairs and people take that as something else as well. People will ask her, "Are you taking care of your Mama?"(not genuine)"Your Mama's sick?" She is learning from me though so she just smiles and keeps doing what she was doing.
If I could change the world; it would be for people to MIND THEIR own business. If it isn't genuine then don't do it!!! Very simple!
🎯
D'Angelo did show some of his old characteristics by screaming and hollering because I said no to something he wanted. Then; I took away his snacks because he was being disrespectful and he tried to hit me with it but he doesn't realize that I've changed. He was gone for almost a month and I had to do all kinds of prep for his return. I've had to research and learn how to handle him. He is already lying about not hearing the voices but I've caught him talking to himself so I already know. I keep him close to me so I can watch everything he does. It's hard to be a watchdog 24/7 but that's how it needs to be. I guess; he'll get tired of me eventually and just do the right thing because if not; he will be returning to the hospital. He calms all the way down when I say that he's going back there. It's most definitely a promise because healing and moving forward is mandatory now. We have to let go of the old ways and grow together. 💛
My mom went to the ER last night and my sister went with her. I worry about my family on a daily basis but my mom is everything to me. Where would I be without her? She's my best friend and I've watched her my entire life and she always pushes through and when she can't; I'll hold her up so she can. She's been in a lot of physical pain because of her illnesses which affects her heart as well. Send us prayers and positive energy. ✨️✨️
Today is Saturday and I've already completed my deep cleaning and doing hair yesterday so self-care day is about to be in full effect. I'm going to cook breakfast at 8/9(my son wants chicken and waffles and everyone else is getting pancakes, eggs and sausage mash and fruit compote)then I'm going to put on this stress relief face mask and watch 'House'; I'm on season 5 right now.
I just wanted to let y'all in again. 👀
💢Thanks for reading!!💢
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