Breaking Point

Hey!

I haven't had a chance to process everything that's been happening lately because I've been in a whirlwind. I'm being hit with one challenge after another without any breaks. I'm exhausted from crying, and I'm struggling to eat or sleep. My body is feeling the toll, which is why my dislocated joint is taking longer to heal.

I've always thought that being a good mother was the one thing I did right, but now I'm questioning that. Jay's behavior has been disrespectful and violent, and he doesn't listen to me. He's taking medication, but it's not working. He's had behavior aides, but he's only using them to get what he wants. I can tell he hates me by the way he acts towards me - he only sees me as someone who cooks and takes care of his needs.

KeKe understands what's going on, and her anxiety is getting worse because I'm the one who always holds everything together and takes care of everything. But this time, I can't do anything to take away her anxiety and uncertainty, and it hurts my soul. Mia and Andri seem to be in their own world, but at least they're happy, and that's all that matters right now.

I'm too tired to continue writing, so I'm going to take a nap. 💤 

From now on, I'll only be sharing my thoughts and feelings here, and not on other social media platforms.