Jay

I'm writing this with a heavy heart, feeling utterly exhausted and drained. Despite my nonstop efforts to support my son Jay, he's now been in a detention center for two days. When he called me last night, he sounded like he was having the time of his life, playing on a PlayStation. It's hard to reconcile this carefree attitude with the Jay I know, who has attacked me, his siblings, and his GiGi and the police department. 

Life with Jay has been a constant battle. To maintain peace, we often give in to his demands, but this has taken a toll on me. This year has been relentless, and my body is screaming for a break. Yesterday's court appearance was another emotional ordeal, especially when Jay showed no interest in defending himself. On the way back to the detention center, he damaged a police car and broke a camera, adding to his growing list of charges, including assaulting a teacher and attacking police officers.

I'm yearning for this chaos to end. I dream of moving to a secluded area, escaping the constant fighting, and finding some peace. I'm tired of putting on my "boxing gloves" every day, fighting for Jay's placement, medication, doctors, and questioning. I'm tired of the endless phone calls and home visits. I'm tired of people. My soul is weary, my heart is full, and I'm wondering when this will all end. How much longer must I keep fighting before I reach my breaking point?