This Christmas is Bittersweet!!

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My son turns 11 on Christmas Day. This is the first Christmas he won't be home. It's hard to imagine him not opening his presents, not wearing our matching pajamas, not experiencing the joy of the season. He's sti in the detention center, and the thought of him spending Christmas there breaks my heart. 😭

Every morning, I wait anxiously for his 8:00 am phone call. Sometimes I miss it, and the wait feels agonizing. I recently sent him a care package with 15 items, mostly snacks and hygiene products. He was happy, saying his room would be a snack paradise, but he longs to be home. The current estimate for his release is two years, which is devastating news. I try to stay positive for his sake, but the weight of it all is heavy. 

When I told him about the possibility of staying longer, his voice cracked, and a silence fell over the line. As his Mommy, I carry the weight of guilt, wishing I could somehow rewind time and prevent this from happening. His mental health struggles are something I couldn't fully control, and I often blame myself, always striving to be a better parent. 

This month, depression hit me hard. It consumed me, and I stopped writing altogether. But then, I received news of another magazine feature, and it reignited a spark within me. I wrote three books in a few days, a testament to the power of finding my way back, even in the darkest of times. 

💫Life throws curveballs, but I will always get back up for my family. 💫

I just wanted to give up an update.

🎄Have a Merry Christmas!! 🎄